Ruminations

Right or wrong?

2007-01-14T09:26:00.000-05:00

I think I have a positive attitude. Everytime something goes wrong, I try to solve the problem and convince myself that afterall it is not so bad, it could have been worse. And I feel better. Am I deceiving myself? Or am I just trying to be selfish and feel happy? Is this positive? I do not know if it is right or wrong, but comments are welcome. I consider this a perception - is the glass half empty or half full?

A Lifetime of Friendships

2007-01-14T09:16:00.000-05:00

Went to a very inspiring 50th Anniversary of a very gracious couple. In their 80's they are very cheerful, enthusiastic and young. Their family & friends went down the memory lane, and what impressed me the most was their stoic spirit through all the ups and downs. As their speech, all they had to say was "Thank You". How modest! How gracious!
Here's a toast to a healthy couple and wish you the very best for your century.

Marriage setups

2007-01-07T21:00:00.000-05:00

Excerpt from a discussion with a friend:

Both "love" and "arranged" marriages have their pros and cons. If love just happens, you do not care how the partner really is, which can be bad sometimes, and on the other hand you can arrange to marry a great person who you may not really connect to. On the positive side though, if you arrange a marriage after taking your time to evaluate, you may be in a much better position. That is what I consider to be best of both the worlds. However, I have a gut feeling that when someone falls in love, personal traits, intellect, wave-lengths, interests, etc. are all unconsciously judged and accepted.

I can understand how difficult it might be to be turned down, especially by a stranger. Its part of the "game" I think. Anyhow, if you know what you absolutely need in your to-be, and what you can compromise on, things would be a bit easier to analyze. Like I said, in most cases, things click in the first meeting. If they don't, take a step back and think twice. You do not want to live with someone your entire life if you cannot connect to and get along with. They say even in an arranged marriage, it is usually love at first sight - you only do not get the freedom to hang out together as lovers before getting married :-)

I personally feel marriages "arranged" by elders after the bride's/ groom's evaluation and consent are a good choice, and not just an "available" choice. It offers you best of both worlds - because our elders have more experience, knowledge and can think about our best interests, and we get the chance to decide between the various options. Or is it already written in our destiny? So we should not worry?

What exactly is "destiny"? God? Something that has already been set for our future? Or something that we can carve for our own future?

Compromise

2007-01-07T20:43:00.000-05:00

Had a heated discussion with a Chinese colleague about choices. Sometimes, we do not have a choice. Which means that most choices are deemed unacceptable or not worth even considering, but one. And this choice is not optional, and so it is the only way to proceed, whether we like or not. She disagreed and said we can take our pick, in whatever situation. Sure, but what picks do we have? She stated that everyone sees a certain value and is willing to pay its worth or more to get the value. It may not be always monetory, and I agreed. However, we still agreed to disagree on the choices. I said compromise is not always bad. And then I realized what I had said in a heated debate actually made sense. Compromise has a negative connotation in many cases, but it really can mean many things. As an Engineer, I have worked with optimization and risk analysis. Compromise means something similar to me. It is better to bend a little than to break. It is something for the common good, give something to get something. In the end, the total value of all remains the same. Going back to what the Chinese colleague said, it ties in nicely with the fact that perception of value and worth make people different. This is the beauty of diversity, it brings life to an otherwise mundane existence.

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T12:15:00.000-05:00

Heres wishing all my blog readers, family, friends, fans and myself a very happy & prosperous New Year!

Celebrated NY eve with friends - helped settle a new friend in a new apartment and relished a very tasty paav-bhaaji he had prepared for his house-warming.

Watched an excellent Marathi movie "Kaydyacha bola". You do not really need formal education, wealth or social status to be smart. Became an instant fan of Makarand Anaspure; acting comes natural to him it seems. Its been a while since I watched such a well-made Marathi film. A must-see!

Great start to a wonderful new year. The day is beautiful with the sun warming a cloudless blue sky and a cool breeze rustling the still-green leaves. Theres tunes of my favorite songs in the scent of fresh air. Just checked and replied to HNY e-mails/ scraps from friends & family between sips of hot ginger tea that Dada had made. Feels good to know that far and wide, there are so many people who think of you to share the joy. So far, so good!

Jatra

2006-12-31T11:20:00.000-05:00

How stupid can stupid be? Sometimes, if you just keep your brains aside, and watch a stupid comedy for the heck of it, it can be very hilarious and relaxing. Watched "Jatra" with friends last night and thoroughly enjoyed the nonsensical puns, twisted dialogues, silly characters, meaningless situations and above all the combined effect of all the above.

As Nilesh rightly pointed out in a reply to "The Psychology of Regret", striking that balance between when to save and when to spend, when to work and when to indulge, is one of the most difficult aspects of life. It takes wisdom to take that decision, we won't know for sure what we will regret doing in the future until we get there.

And the journey begins...

2006-12-30T10:50:00.000-05:00

Where to? I do not know, but time will tell. Thoughts are like a river, they build up as they progress. The force carves its way and accumulates its assets as it moves on. The destination is unknown at the beginning, but the journey promises to be very interesting. And the journey never stops, even after reaching the destination. The journey provides motivation for future journeys, and a journey into the past can be very satisfying.

Why? Thoughts are like flowers and butterflies. Some static, some dynamic; but the two together make a lovely combination. Both are short-lived, so we can enjoy it for once, or preserve the memories to enjoy forever.